


I Don't Know How to Tell You

by FormidablePassion



Series: Wincest Love Week 2017 [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, Drinking, M/M, Mention of lapdances, Mention of underage drinking, Missed Confessions, Wincest Love Week, Wincest Love Week 2017, strip clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 21:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormidablePassion/pseuds/FormidablePassion
Summary: Sam knew he had to tell Dean. It was his birthday and they only had a few months left together. He just wasn't sure how to tell him he was leaving.





	I Don't Know How to Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> This year I participated in the [Wincest Love Week](http://wincestloveweek.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr.  
> This was the forth day and the prompts were:  
>  Serial killers!AU  
>  Treehouse  
>  Going to a strip club together  
> I picked Going to a strip club together because if I picked the Serial Killer AU it would have ended up being a whole series. I didn't have time for that.  
> I hope you enjoy!

Sam tried to be as excited as Dean was for his birthday. Eighteen was a big deal. He was legally a man. He knew that Dean had been waiting to take him to a strip club for a while, and Sam was looking forward to spending that time with Dean. Of course he hadn’t told Dean he was planning on leaving either. When they were alone Dean would go on and on about all the things that they would be able to do legally now. They could take off on their own now and hunt together. He would watch Sammy’s back of course, because that is what he always did. It was his job,  _ protect Sammy _ . 

Sam just didn’t know how to protect Dean from this. He knew it was going to be difficult. He knew that he needed to tell Dean when it was just the two of them. But not today. Later.  _ Always later. _ Never in front of Dad. 

So they went to the strip club. Dean had some beers and bought Sam several lap dances. Even bought him a private one with a pretty dirty blonde, with freckles and green eyes. He ignored Dean’s  _ look _ at that one. 

Sam smiled the whole time. Laughed. Took sips of Dean’s beers. Leaned into Dean and even put an arm around him when Dean leaned back against him. All in a brotherly fashion.  _ Of course. _ They left when the club announced last call. Dean swaying against Sam. 

“Dean, give me the keys. I’ll drive us back to the hotel.” Sam had him propped against the passenger door and pressed his body against him to hold him against it. 

“They’re in ma pocket.” Dean grinned at him.

“So, get them out for me?” Sam asked.

Dean just shook his head no, “You get ‘em.” 

Dean winked at Sam then and Sam rolled his eyes, meanwhile feeling his heart beat hard in his chest. Sam reached into one pocket and grabbed a paper, pulling it out it was a number for a Trish, there was even a little heart dotting the i. Sam rolled his eyes and went to put it back in Dean’s pocket. 

Dean grabbed his wrist and took the paper. He looked at Sam in a way that Sam couldn’t identify and ripped it up before tossing it in the air like confetti with a smirk. “I don’t need that.” 

Sam hummed a non committal noise and reached into Dean’s other pocket. His fingers brushed against a firmness that Sam refused to acknowledge until Dean let out a groan. 

“Dammit, Sammy.” Sam froze, hand still in Dean’s pocket and he looked up at his brothers green eyes, out of focus from all the liquor. 

He waited. Dean’s breathing grew shallow and he moved his hips up in the tiniest thrust before dropping his head back and going almost limp. Sam quickly pulled his hand from Dean’s pocket, wrapped his arms around Dean only to have Dean bury his face in the crook of Sam’s neck and inhale deeply. 

Sam unlocked the passenger door and tried to wrestle Dean inside. Dean held on a little and mumbled something. “What was that?” Sam asked. 

“I don’t like it. You smell like all those women. You don’t smell like my Sammy anymore.” Sam felt himself blush. 

“Dean, let go and get in the car, you’re drunk.” Sam finally succeeded in getting Dean in the car and carefully shut the door. 

By the time he managed to get to the driver’s side Dean was laid across the bench seat and he had to prop him up to slide into the car. As soon as he was settled in Dean’s head was in his lap face first. Sam had to carefully control his breathing and think of other things as Dean nuzzled down into his inner thigh. 

“Dean…” Sam trailed off and Dean just turned to his side, mouth breathing hot against his lower abdomen. 

Sam sighed. He started the car and headed back in the direction of their hotel. Their dad had been gone on a solo hunting trip and they knew he wouldn’t be back for a few more days. He had called that morning to wish Sam a happy birthday and tell them he wouldn’t be back in time to have dinner with him. Not that Sam expected him to be. 

Sam relaxed a little when he felt the heat of Dean’s breath even out a little against his skin. He was glad that their dad wasn’t going to see Dean in this condition. He would only yell at him and tell him the hangover the next morning served him right. Sam idly stroked his hand through Dean’s hair, he wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort Dean, even though he was fast asleep, or himself. 

He felt his chest tighten at the idea of leaving Dean with John. He knew that Dean wouldn’t come with him. There was a good chance that Dean was going to be really mad at him. There was also a small chance that Dean would be supportive of him. He always was supportive of Sam’s education, even if he never outright said the words. 

“I don’t know how to tell you, Dean.” Sam whispered to the dark road ahead of him. 

Dean turned and looked up at Sam, “Tell me what, Sammy?” Green eyes, still glassy, managed to lock onto Sam’s for the short time that he looked down. 

“Nothing, Dean. Don’t worry about it.” Sam spoke soft. Emotion pinching tight in his chest. 

Dean was quiet for a while. So long that Sam thought for sure that his brother fell back to sleep. Sam started running his fingers through the short hair again. He jumped and quickly pulled his hand away when Dean spoke. 

“Sam—” Dean quickly grabbed his hand back and placed it back on his head, “You can keep doing that.” When Sam resumed his movements Dean spoke again. 

“Listen, Sam. I’ve got something to tell you, too. Maybe you go first, tell me whatever it is and then—” Dean cleared his throat and turned back on his side facing Sam’s torso, “then I can tell you what I’ve been meaning to tell you.” 

Sam was silent for a little bit when Dean nudged into his stomach with his nose. “Gonna tell me?” 

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” Sam spoke quietly. He was circling the hotel, he didn’t know if he wanted to have this conversation there. There would be nowhere to go if Dean got mad. But then again, being in the car wasn’t the best idea either. 

Sam pulled into the hotel parking lot and parked right in front of room 183 and parked the car. He turned the ignition off and sat there thinking about how he was going to say this. “Just spit it out, Sammy.” 

Dean breath was hot and humid through the thin fabric of his shirt, his voice vibrated through Sam’s thigh. Sam took a deep breath and decided to just say it. 

“Dean, I got offered a full ride at Stanford and I am going to go. I won’t be leaving until August but this is something that I need to do for myself.” Sam held his breath. The car was completely still. It seemed like Dean wasn’t even breathing but he had stiffened up. 

Finally Dean let out a long breath against Sam’s stomach and sat up. He looked out the front window at the hotel room. “That is really great, Sam. So good. Knew that big brain of yours would take you places one day.” Dean took a shuddering breath, “I’m—proud of you, Sammy.” 

Dean leaned over into Sam’s space and Sam held his breath, waiting for something he was sure was never gonna come. Then Dean leaned over and Sam felt like his world was tilting again. Then Dean placed the softest kiss on the corner of Sam’s mouth, barely touching his lips. 

The moment lasted finite amount of time, but it felt endless. Sam wanted to melt into it. Wanted to take Dean with him.  _ Needed _ Dean. They had so much more to talk about. But before he realized it, Dean was moving away from him and was out of the impala. Gone and inside. 

Sam never did get to hear what it was that Dean wanted to tell him. Dean was passed out on the bed before he made his way back inside.

 

* * *

 

 

When Dean woke up the next morning with a throbbing head, he didn’t remember much after getting a number from some girl, Tina? Tammy? Tessa? It didn’t matter. He may not remember everything from the night before but he did remember that he did  _ not  _ tell Sam what he intended. He couldn’t remember why though.    
He knew that he was drinking enough to have the courage to tell him. He had it all planned out. He intended to tell Sam everything last night. The years of pining and struggling he’d been dealing with alone, how he  _ wanted _ so bad. How he might have a chance to get it now that Sam was an adult and they could just  _ go. _

Something stopped him though. It was nagging at the back of his brain and he couldn’t quite grasp it. He needed more sleep. Maybe he would remember then. He went back to sleep making up a new plan to tell Sam everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed and want to come yell at me about it you can find me on Tumblr as [FormidablePassion](http://formidablepassion.tumblr.com)  
> I promise I’m nice.


End file.
